I just don’t know what else to do. Everything is settled, everything is ready and I need only to step on a new platform of my study. But why on earth, of all time, do I feel so reluctant to changes now? I am so afraid and filled with uncertainties of how the path will unfold, that I forgot to feel excited. I forgot to be grateful, I forgot how anxious I was when I first started this course.
I have five days left in hometown. I have only 120 hours to be here with Mum, with my dogs, with my friends and with everything I have been familiar with for so many years. I never felt so sad to think that I’m going back to Singapore for my study. I never cried alone in my pillow, so scared with the thoughts of leaving my house on Sunday morning. For almost one year I left Medan, I don’t want to go back to Singapore. Or perhaps, for the sake of my insecurity, I’m not sure if I can survive with the new world I’m facing.
As crybaby as I am, Mum always said to me; ” You have to do everything with your heart. When you don’t put your heart in doing things, nothing will ever goes right.” So I am trying to pull myself together, slapping my mental self, and telling myself that everything will be fine.fine.fine. All I need is some time to cope up and adapt. God speed. X
-life is full of changes. You either take it or be blown by it.