Hello, Greedy Alter Ego.

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Today is 17th of April. ALREADY. Time is definitely trolling me. The days when I waited for this holiday to come seems like forever and ever, but the holiday really passed in a flash. I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to travel. But I can’t help to sustain the feeling of not having enough, not long enough, not seen enough. The greediness is creeping behind my back and weigh my shoulder to return to reality. The reality where sunny Singapore awaits me with tons of works follow up and possibly troubles (?).

Beside the wonderful days I had, i also had a hiccup on the beginning of my trip. I lost my Blackberry in London Heathrow Airport. Words cannot describe what I felt when i found out I lost it. It was not the first time, not the second time, not the third time. It was the fourth time i lost my phone. The history should record me as ‘the dedicated clumsy girl’. In all four times, it happens in the same way. I either left it unattended somewhere, or simply forget it. Not once (or as far as I’m concerned), was the phone taken of force by somebody else. I literally put the phone somewhere for public usage. So other people can take the free gift they luckily found there. I have tried emailing the airport’s lost and found section. Wish they reply sooner and maybe if I am still siding with goddess of fortune, i can get back my phone. If not, all the hassle of changing my phone number again and again… Ugh.

So mad of myself that I just really can’t configure if there’s any good side left in me. What makes me more frustrated of myself, Dad wasn’t even mad at me. He simply asked me to buy a new one, or just use his other phone. Which brings me to the newest level of greediness. I want to still use Blackberry. Because Mum is waiting everyday for me to chat with her, and also all my familiar friends are using the oh-so-convenient Blackberry Messenger. On the other hand, I am in love using Dad’s Android phone while I was on the trip. The endless possibilities of applications and all the things Blackberry cannot manage to fit into. Plus i can go online on skype with dad at anytime. This is like letting me choose between Dad or Mum..

What makes people so greedy?
I suppose it is the will to have power over a lot of different subjects/objects drives people irrational. It is like those superhero movies we saw when the bad guys tried to conquer or rule the world. Probably that is the highest order of greed, evolving from the simplest wish to have more of this, more of that, and finally all of them. But I truly believe we have the power to quench the greed inside of ourself. It all depends on how you set the bar of life, just not too high, not too low, simply be modest and be what you are.

Writing this post really helps me to think clearly and decide. I am who I am and i should be grateful of what I am intended to be. I make mistakes.. I might still be clumsy and feeble, and who knows if I will lost my phone again in the future. But I do know I had enough of my clumsy self and will genuinely try to change and have myself more conscious of the surroundings. I really hope to.
Okay just pouring out all the #unhappythoughts before I get to the fun (travel pics!) part of the holiday.. But on the next post :p. Just let me go back to the loving bed in Singapore, sort all the decent pictures among thousands (yub 1000+) I have in the memory card, and then I shall put up a ‘professional travel diary’ post! Lol.

-Greed is destructive. Greed is consumtive. But you can always be humble at no price.

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