Peacetime Resistance

Feeling the comfort of eyes is your sole intention
We all wanna be understood unconditionally
But you have to realize that a viewer needs distance
And the moment your wall melts down the inside is outside

Maybe way back in the past, when people were different
Shortening bonds made them last
Now we emphasize our difference
We have been enrolled one by one for peacetime resistance
And we’re fighting our battles alone

We’ve got four eyes, so why yearn for one perspective?
We’ve got colours with shades erased when blended
We’ve got four eyes, so why yearn for one perspective?
We’ve got colours, but they disappear when blended

Kings of Convenience

SAMSUNG CSC

SAMSUNG CSC

Buxton, Derbyshire 

Getting overwhelmed by the pace of life recently. Almost two months residing in the UK, finally getting used to things and weather.. God knows why my sinusitis miraculously managed to survive through thick snow and wind here. Uni has been great and homework is (finally) coming into my life again after years. Not sure whether to feel excited or not about that.

Life here is peaceful, serene, and tranquil. The total opposite of bustling Singapore. In my town there’s no grandeur shopping mall or a commercial cinema. Probably explains why it’s very quiet here. If feeling a little bit town-ish that day, we need to ride train or bus to the neighboring town and spend a whole day there. Saying I don’t miss the metropolitan life in Singapore would be a total BS, considering friends and everything familiar is scattered within distance there. Homesick is inevitable for us international students. 7 hours of time difference doesn’t make things easier too.

But then again, time makes things goes by. Missing things isn’t a bad thing. It just serves as a reminder that you had a great time back there. Thus I’m striving to be grateful thoroughly of what I have now. It all starts with the little things, really. I love how people are so friendly in my town. I love my University. I love the cakes here! I love jacket potatoes and beans. I love tea now, it’s getting to me so bad I have to drink a cuppa everyday. I love charity shoppings, so cheap to the point I can’t believe it. I love the fact I have my own room now, which I crazy decorated with stuffs. I love looking at caucasian toddlers everywhere. I love the parks and gardens here. I love the weather, I honestly don’t miss the scorching hot tropical sun so much. I love how I live in such close proximity to big towns where all the happenings happened. So many things I love in UK, but I suppose it’s still too early to say I love UK in whole. We’ll keep that for future reference. :’)

And yeah, I’ve been adjusting, and I still am adjusting. I bet there’s still so many things to discover in near days, so I’ll try my best to keep this space alive. Though it’s not easy in so many circumstances.. (eep excuses here we go)

Talk to you loves soon. x :)

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Thank The Old, Greet The New

It’s the tip of 2012, and here we are evaluating and rewinding back what this year has done and brought to us. 366 days have passed so very quickly that sometimes catching up with daily happenings in life is too much of a task.. You know how if you live each day with such great friends and happy thoughts the time passed in a flash? Me think so too.

Now that the fireworks and my blackberry broadcast messages are competing against each other, I would like to try to sum up what 2012 was about for moi.

Incredibly Grateful. is probably the most apt phrase to begin with the journey to the awesomeness of 2012. To start off, I am on my happiest days of my life right now. I’m as content as I can be, without anything to worry about (except for the slight setback regarding my school visa /sigh). But anyhow, if you refer back to the previous posts from this blog, I recorded mostly good things that has happened during the last 12 months. Whether it was foods, friends, concerts, and probably a little bit of setbacks that is inevitable.

I was able to watch not one, not two, not three, but four concerts this year. Which in one of it, I made precious new friends and memorable experience. Was also the year when I first shed tears on a concert. :)

In the rare opportunity of browsing, I found the way to live in Love  through the dailylove.com and tut.com and whole heaps of self motivate books. I love the sense of renewal living in positive brought you to. That’s one thing I’m taking to ’13 with me.

Being fortunate enough to go for Easter holiday and stepped my foot on Europe soil. Forever will remember the 3 weeks long holiday to lavish in all picture perfect sceneries.

Completed one chapter of my life by finishing internship in SingExpress Travel for one year. Truly a wonderful adventure with all it’s challenges and rewards.

Finally permed my hair on November, after all this time.

Entered the big Two this year, proudfully so.

Managed to find the way to continue my study, though it’s kind of hard to say I’m ready to go.. More on other time.

Friends. Girlfriends. Mom. Dad. Sachi & Michi. They are such a bless to be around. Mood lifter and ultimate source of joy.

Those are probably some quick round up of what’s really significant in the year. So many things I haven’t jolt down in my notes so I’m probably missing out heaps. :/ In essence, there’s a whole lot of thing to be thankful for. I’m thankful for the good and bad things that happens during this fruitful year. And I finally learn that on every day of the 366 days I open my eyes from my dream, there’s always, always, and always something to be grateful for. :)

Now, I’m home and comfortable in my bed, typing my little thoughts away tonight. I might not be able to see fireworks to start off my 2013, but it doesn’t mean my year is gonna be any less awesome! Set your mindset and look straight ahead! In a matter of minutes it’s going to be a fresh start, a fresh calendar, a fresh canvas for you to sketch whatever adventures you wish to have. :) It’s a new year!

Talk to you next year! :)

 

 

“I Made It”

There can hardly be any title  I can think of when I wrote this post. Alright so you guessed it, I had my last day of internship yesterday. On the 17th September to be exact, but we went on a farewell dinner on the 18th.

Gosh where to start.. You know, the funny thing is that, back to several months ago when I was still struggling blood and sweats with my job I had a lot of things to write about. The pain, the lessons, the experience one after another, there was just so much to tell a story from when I thought about it. While it has all comes to the end, I have no way with words to describe the last one year in my life. But let’s try.

Imagine you are a nineteen years old, walking along with the flow of the world, finishing schools and higher education, and then comes the internship programme. The chance to taste a little bit of the real world knocked on your door, and you are to learn everything from scratch. I was scared. I was mortified by the fact that there’s so much thing I didn’t know apart from what the school taught. There are people that I didn’t know. In fact, I didn’t know anybody at all. I was alone in a new world. Sure it was challenging the first few steps, but I guess it’s as normal as it can get when you barely know anything about the industry.

Then everything settles down a bit, I gripped the handle of my job and started to function properly. Of course with errors here and there, and again I am so thankful for the individuals I worked with. Those whom I thought I will never understand what’s going on in their heads, they still help me in every way they can. There has been some bad days occasionally, sometimes I was just a big ball of an emotional wreck, and sometimes I threw my blame to the world. There was also some great time together with the colleagues, the satisfaction you feel when you do your job well, and the smile from your internal and external partners. It’s all a part of it really, and the whole internship thing allows me to improve to a better being; mind you in lots of aspects!

I don’t have any regrets from this experience. If there is I’d probably have it as not giving my best enough, not proving myself in more subjects. Days get hard and long sometimes, but I’ve learned more than just the technical process of my job, though that portrays a big part of it. I’ve also learned how to deal with lots different customers   with different demands. And boy, do I know now that expectation can be a quite troublesome idea.

When things gets rough, customers came yelling and problems revolves on a rotary basis, there was always the voice inside of me that asked me to give up and go home. It’s very easy to think so.  Sometimes it really gets that hard that you want to just slam your head to the desk in front of you. But there was also that small and clear tiny voice that tell me not to give up so soon, and by the end of the day it will all be worth it. I’d be glad I went along and gave the best, I will look back and smile to my old problems. If there were problems, there will always be solutions. If there were mistakes, there will always a way to fix things up. If there were angers in heart, there will always be patience and understanding. If there were tears, there will be just enough time to reflect, digest and wake up as a better me every day.

I worked in a service industry where I met and greet different personalities each day. I worked with fabulous people whom I now can proudly say my good friends for years to come; thanks to Facebook. How am I supposed to sum this great experience up? There are just so many thank yous and gratitude I’m feeling now that is simply so hard to type down on a post. THANK YOU for the opportunities of being a part of a great family. THANK YOU for giving myself a chance to learn things and  THANK YOU for all the patience and guidance you’ve all given me. It’s been an amazing one year, if not spectacular. I’ve created great memories and learned the most for the last year. And truly made my stay in sweet little red dot fruitful with lessons. I love my life as it is, I love it more each day, and I love it even more today because I know I’ve accomplished yet another milestone in my early heydays. :)

I’m raising my right hand, across my head and touching my back shoulder twice. Oh and I was saying “You made it.”

Best.Year.Ever.

Ps: I typed this on 4 AM, so please don’t cuss my grammar or sentence structure. I just don’t want to write this post on other days; where the amount of gratefulness I have has lessen. :)

Good night, beautiful world. Sealing another chapter of my life with fluffy ribbon.

 

The Big Two

Happy Birthday to me.

HAPPY TWENTIETH BIRTHDAY TO ME SELF! :)

This year, I can probably say I celebrated my birthday one day earlier by going to the Universal Studios Singapore with friends. Best thing : Tickets cost $6. Best thing 2 : No queues. At all. For real. Best thing 3 : I RODE A ROLLER COASTER! I conquered the chicken side of me and positioned my butt on that red hot seat, and my world went all upside down. Literally freaking upside down, tossed and turned like a slab of bacon in a pan. But boy was it good. And I am proud to say I have rode an outdoor roller coaster (and will gladly do it again) on my teen days. On my very last (nine)teen  day, to be exact. I wonder what took me so long.

I was immensely grateful and happy yesterday, today and hopefully tomorrow. I am grateful of my friends, my girls, my family, my colleagues and every single one of my facebook friends whom a lot I do not recognize at all that takes a little out of their time    to type me well wishes.

Birthday makes you do a lot of thinking, rewinding and missing people. Thoughts like “Where/how/with whom did I celebrate my birthday years ago” “Oh my God has it really been so long” “I wish I can go back and hug those people again” etc etc. And I love how technology (re : facebook) brings up flocks of old friends to come and pop the refresh button in my head, and I just went all nostalgic with the fellow again. I guess that’s just one of the special stud about birthday; it gives you the chance to sip that cup of memories with some sprinkle of love and smiles.

Nineteen birthdays and I have only so much beautiful memories and fruitful setbacks.  Through the tides and turns of every event I was graced by the existence of my friends and family, whom I will never ever tire to say how grateful I am to have. I don’t have any significant other and to be frank; I hardly have the time to wish I had one. My life is already significantly awesome with the way it is, and I can’t even thank Universe enough for giving me what I have. I mean, I would probably take back whatever I have typed once I found someone. But I’ll take care of it later. I wanted to speak as of right now. As a genuinely happy twenty year old ladywoman who wants to try taking the world seriously, and promising herself to be a better person in and outside, and to thoroughly practice gratitude in every moments of life. Go!

This is the letter The Universe gave me today. :)

It’s so going to be my year! :))

Be blessed, lovely souls!

What To Expect When You’re Expecting

…expecting a great month, that is. Don’t get all the weird ideas flowing in your head.

So here we are, on the top of September. New month ready to start fresh and spirited.. But before we get any further, what WAS on August?

:)))

Well, I was proud of myself of the last 31 days. Proud as in not arrogant-proud, but more of a grateful-proud. You’ll see why. Basically, I live more consciously. I exercised a bunch more often, like twice or thrice a week. Short 30 minutes run and a 10 minute steam bath, no excuses even after I finished a tiring day and knocked off work at 8PM. Not to specifically accomplish any goal, but mainly to just do my body a favor by keeping it good for the long run. Pfftt.

And then, I ate more humbly. To be specific, I lessen my carbs intake and almost rarely had heavy dinner. I did not touch any Fast Food or any instant noodle(for real; not even a pack), I turned my direction towards yummy yoghurts with plenty choices of toppings. To sum it up, I ate healthily.

I also did not use any curse words during those 31 days. Not even a single F-word, D-word, S-word. I learned to be careful with words and to speak by my logic instead of anger. I was patience with my surroundings, call it a rush hour traffic jams, screaming babies, and varieties of attitudes from people. Of course this is not to say August is a trouble-free month. I’ve had ups and downs as equally frustrating at times, but I did not let myself go deep down to self-destruct for long. I happened to manage to stay in circle with grace and love.

All of the above, all of the great commitments I put myself through for the last month, has really taken me by surprise. Why? Because most of them is not even planned for. I was only promising myself to exercise regularly, and eat more consciously. I did not set any limits to not take any junk foods or to not curse/tweet bad words, in fact I would never had imagine myself not stuffing myself with Instant Noodle for a month. But when I evaluated the status that I was at in the middle of the month, only then I realized that I have been indirectly directing myself to a better me. It’s really funny isn’t it? The more you feel grateful of what is in yourself, the more the uni-verse gave you bonuses. Can I get an Amen for that? Winning.

I do not intend to make any promises that I cannot keep. So in the next months ahead, I wouldn’t say I can fulfill everything I’ve done on August. But commitments of such is not the only thing to improve oneself right? I believe that so long as I keep my way straight and believe in what’s best for me self, I am already a better me. :)  So thank you, August. Thank you so very much for being such a fruitful month where I introspected myself more than anytime. See you soon.

Ah my God, yabba-dabbido whee we were talking about September, right…? Yeah I strayed way back to just remind myself in the future for these rare accomplishments. *grin*

SO what do you expect when you are expecting September? Let’s see.

  • 3rd September -Universal Studio Singapore trip with girlfriends *FREE TICKETS DINGDONGDING*
  • 4th September – Yours truly’s *ahem* 20th Birthday!
  • 10th September -Ingrid Michaelson Live in Singapore, The Script #3 album release, Ellen DeGeneres Season 10 premiere. (triple jackpots. I can feel it; best.day.evarrr.)
  • 15th September -IELTS test. Not sure what to feel about this one.
  • 18th September -Last day of internship. Don’t know what to feel about this too. I have a feeling you’ll see a more elaborated post on this one.
  • 22nd September -Daddy’s Birthday!
  • 23-27th September -Propose date for Bali/Bangkok Trip with girlfriends<3
  • 29th September -BigBang Alive Tour!
  • GREAT WEATHER FULL FORCE. Go sweaters, jumpers and knits.

And.. that’s all I can think of right now. Seeing that list, I feel grateful already. Immensely thankful and positive to start this awesome month.  Here’s to great awesomazing months of forever. Cheers to The Great September.

 

ps: I wrote a hell of a long post. That’s one accomplishment for September.

pps: I lost 4 pounds on August. Big whoop-dee-doop high five.

ppps: YOU GUYS! IT’S FREAKING SEPTEMBER ALREADY?!?

Words of Possibilities

Been staring at this blank page for idk how many long. In office from 9 to 6 this morning, and it has been a quiet one. Very quiet that I suddenly find myself lurking to write something.  No materials popped up to this small brain, nothing worth rambling or excited about. Then after a good lurking around, I thought “why do I struggle to find things to write? i write what i think.” Then the mind begins to contemplate of time. Past time, current time, future time.

To and fro, it’s mid of May and we are crawling towards the second quarter of 2012. Strangely, however fast the time pass doesn’t surprise me that much now. Back from Medan for short breaks, and I am drawn back to the working days. Intrigued, I think of the realization that I have less than half a year to stay in the company , 4 months exactly. Not that long of a time. I begin to think of where I will stand next year on this very same time. The idea of continuing study is still in the first rank surely, but where.. and what? You might think I figured all my goals in life when I decided to choose my current major and all, but frankly though I think a lot of my fellow international student pals feels the same way as I do right now. Hollow, doubtful, and wanting more. Maybe it is about the fickle personality that dawns back after being used to the surroundings.. Maybe it is the need to want different days, or different ideas. Mum always says “Whatever you do, do with all your heart. You will be pleased of your work, and yourself.” I wish I can still take the words in my every action everyday.

Ellen enlighten me today. She always do.

“Life is not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”

My journey has been an exceptional one lately. Traveling 6000 over miles to the other continent, which I’ve never once thought to be able to do anytime near. But i did, and it was a marvel experience. To be loved and to be able to love so many heartwarming friends and families back in hometown (and here).  Perhaps it has been too amazing, all the joyous air I breathe in, that once I settle back to the reality I feel awkward. Awkward in a good way, where I actually opened my eyes to the endless possibilities I can do in near future. I’m excited because I have plans in minds, one that shouldn’t be very hard to execute if I am determined and set for it. I should thank Dad, once again, for the lots of traveling he allowed me to do lately. To thank God, for letting all the problems and mischief comes into my days; because I learned a lot and picked fruitful lessons from it. I learned to be brave, to be open and honest to myself. If anything, I would have do a lot more travel in future days. Travel is food for the soul, indeed..

I love my life. I love it to the tiniest unhappy bits.

-Breathe in all the possibilities.

The Audacity.

Hiya fellows.

First week of December is gone, and work has been crazy hectic. The calculation is that 80 percent of people in the world are jiggling their toes planning christmas/new year/chinese new year holiday, where my line of work is the one that is ought to be the busiest and most prosperous sector. Bright side of the story is how I really learn to understand the whole process of travel industry. Not that I say there’s nothing left to learn, well i’ll be dayumed.

Let’s talk a bit about work, next week on 18th, I am working for 3 full months alrighty. It’s not a long time, but it’s also not a short time. I have passed  25% of my internship contract. My friends, families they know I am working instead of studying here, but sometimes I will still be asked : “What kinda job you are doing actually?” “How come you are working?” “What about school?” “Do you get paid?”. The questions are of similar thing, then again I will need to explain myself all over again from the Milky-Way galaxy. pooh.

But yesterday a friend; surprisingly just an average  of my normal rank of buddyness asked me; “Do you like your work?”. And I was like whoa. Do i like my work? If you put like and hate side by side, I think i will slide between them and cover a little of my foot under “Like”. I remembered the first few weeks i am at office, I sometimes felt lost and hopeless. Everything was new, raw to me, that I became overwhelmed in learning. But now, all i have to say is time changed people, yes in good an bad way. I mean to think that i actually come this far and I will still be out of my bed by 9,30 tomorrow, and stay at office for whole day; and come back home again. I was surprised i had the audacity to move along with my new flow of life, while i am always filled with doubt and insecurities. I know I will still have plenties plenties of things to learn and know about. And since I am now stepping near to finish my remaining 75% of intern, I hope i can still go on this  path fearlessly until the end.

I know the writings are a bit random and off topic, the days are near to be twenty and i think i shall really start to see ahead my future. Sorting priorities, sorting life and sorting self. Well at least if anything, I know i will always have a coin in my pocket to remind me of following my own heart; not others.